Things nobody has said to me since we've been in Japan:
"Your platinum-streaked hair looks beautiful -- is it natural?"
"I love your freckles!"
and
"You are so skinny!"
The harsh reality I have had to face while here in the Motherland, where my genetics make me part of the mainstream, is that my "salt & pepper" hair color is ignored (politely), as are my sobakasu or freckles (which, my sister likes to point out, at my age should be referred to as shimi or age spots), because they are just too hideous to mention. My weight, however, is a different story. While my relatives will not comment on my grey hair or melanin-impaired skin, my weight is fair game. "Chotto futotta ne!" ("My, you've gained a little weight, haven't you?") they say, and I respond with an apologetic nod, "Yes, I have. I have been eating so much since we've been in Japan!" -- as if I am never this weight and never eat this much, except when I am in Japan. As if.
Back home in the U.S.A., I am a size 2. I was never a size 2 before I had two kids and gained and lost 80 pounds, but due to the phenomenon of vanity-sizing, my post-partum clothing size was actually a smaller number than my pre-maternity size. I had physically gotten bigger, but my size had gotten smaller. Did that make sense? Probably not. But suddenly, I was a size 2 at the Gap, instead of a size 6. So, in spite of my relatives' commentary on my weight, I was still feeling pretty average-sized for Japan.
Then, I went clothes shopping. I had been waiting for days and days to have a chance to go shopping. I had fond memories of shopping for clothes in Japan. Back in the day, I was the perfect size 9 or "average", and everything I pulled off the rack fit perfectly. This time, it was a different story. I discovered that I am averaged-sized no more. I am above average. Well above average.
The cool t-shirt I picked up that day at the Uniqlo store was not a size S, or M, or even L. It was a size LL. That's me. Livin' double large in Japan, baby. I better remember not to put that t-shirt in the dryer when I get home!
As they say in Japan, "Yabai!"
